"Sure. I did one yesterday."

"That would be terrible. Fortunately I've been happy with sales so far."

"Fashion recycles every 6 months? When did that start? No wonder people keep pointing and laughing when I'm out."

"My work is better than a lot of books out there! Of course, I had a great editor, a great cover designer, and all I had to do was the words. The reviews have been really good, better than I expected (because I forget what a genius I am), and all is…"

"So have I. That was one of the reasons I self-pubbed. That, and I'm not getting any younger here. That, and I wanted some control over the process. That, and I don't have thick skin. Wait. I said that already. "

"So would I."

"Yes! Authors make a fraction, but you can build on that to make more money! Selling a lot of copies is very rewarding. It just makes my beady little eyes light up with joy."

"Well, my experience is pretty meaningless, since I don't have any. "

"Such excellent points!"

"Yes, of course I'd rather write books than market them, but that's not my reality. My reality is that with people wanting to read my book, but agents and publishers not interested, I chose to do it myself. People love my book. Did I want…"

"They may have made a significant investment, or they may have made a small investment. They have other books to promote too, and if a 50 Shades shows up, they're going to move on to what's going to make them the most money and sideline my…"

"Yes, big ones do. It's not just about issuing a press release -- it's about where to pitch the release, it's about having personal contacts to talk to, it's about knowing all the places to contact that would be a good source of…"

"Sure, but they're also more likely to pull it if the book isn't doing well. For them, it's a business decision, as it should be since they're in business to make money, and if a book doesn't do well right away, they can cut…"

"I hear I'm pretty damn good."

"It should be the job of whoever is interested in seeing that the book succeeds. Mostly that's the writer."