This is my very first book. I am a 10 year old girl and I have never writen before. Please give me advice, pionters, and opinions.
Jr. High Witches
Written by: Jade Trissel
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Alexis opened her eyes to see the Glow-In-The-Dark stars on her ceiling. Sitting up, she could feel the breeze from the fan. Along with the cool breeze, came the smells of breakfast that her mom, Maria, was cooking. The smells of bacon, sausage, and eggs fill the house. She got out of bed and went to her closet to find something to wear. After a minute or two she picked out her black skinny jeans, pink halter top, and running shoes. Then she went to her mirror hanging above her make-up desk. Staring back at her was a young, pale, blue eyed, blonde haired girl. You can’t tell by looking at her, but she is a witch. Literally.
“I really need a tan!” she said aloud, sighing. Then she went to her make-up table to brush her hair and put on lip-gloss.
“Mom have you seen my brush? I can’t find it.” Alexis yelled, looking at her make-up
table. A few seconds later the door opened to find a beautiful, tall, slender female standing in the door. She was vary tan, with long brown hair. Her eyes were the color of the ocean… dark blue with hint of green. “What’d you say sweetie?” She asked.
“I just asked if you had seen my brush.”
“No, but your breakfast is done.”
“Okay mom, thanks.” Alexis replied, putting her hair in a ponytail. Once her mom left, she got dressed and brushed her teeth. After that she went to the living room to get her bag.
“Hey Lex are you going to eat?” Her father, Justin, asked. Justin was a tall, slim, handsome man. He was a little less tan then her mom and he had short, dark brown hair. He had eyes the color of the of the leaves on the trees.
“No, I don’t know when the bus comes and I don’t want to miss it.”
“Okay bye I love you.”
“I love you too. Oh and tell mom I said bye and I love her.”
“Okay hurry do not miss the bus please.”
“Okay! Bye Dad!” Alexis yelled as she closed the door. Outside it was sunny with a slight breeze.
As she walked towards the bus stop she could hear the birds in the trees and see
bees collecting nectar from the red and purple roses alongside the sidewalk. Once she got to the bus-stop all she saw was the stop-sign at the edge of the street. She looked down the side of the street to see the back of the bus getting farther and farther away.
“Snap!!” she exclaimed as she looked around her to see if there was anyone watching, then she reversed time. She only reversed it a minute so she wouldn’t mess things up and create complete chaos. All of a sudden there were a whole bunch of kids in front of her, in line, waiting to get on the bus (which was big, blue, and the doors were open.)
Alexis was in the back of the line so she wouldn’t arouse suspicion, and the girl in front of her turned around, she was a pretty, tall, skinny, girl who looked about Alexis’ age.
She was a little more tan than Alexis with
longer blonde hair. Her eyes were icy blue.
“Where did you come from?” Alexis could tell she was a witch -even if it had not been revealed to the girl. I’ve often found that witches and wizards have blue eyes.
“Umm, my house, why?”
“Because I could have sworn you weren’t there a second ago.” the girl replied. Alexis could tell the girl chose her words carefully.
She must have noticed someone reversed time, I have got to be more careful. I also don’t think she knows about the blue eye thing. Alexis thought to herself.
Brook knew someone had reversed time, but she didn’t think it was the girl behind her.
She looks so innocent, Brook thought, I don’t even think she’s a witch. Brook turned around “I’m Brook. What’s your name?”
I’m Alexis, nice to meet you.” She replied.
I might as well get to know her, Brook said to
Humm… Whatever! I might as well get to know the girl.
Alexis thought to herself. The line for the bus was moving so she started to move up too. Once she got to the stairs she could see the bus driver. She was in her mid-twenties, and had short black hair. She was really tan and had hazel eyes.
“ Who are you?” she asked in a Jersey accent.
“I’m Alexis. I’m new to Tanana Middle School, and Alaska.”
“I don’t need the details. I’m guessing ,since your new, you don’t have a bus-pass.” she said sighing.
“Actually I do! Unlike most people, I come prepared.” Alexis replied glancing at the crowd of kids watching her. A couple yelled and some whistled in surprise. “Alright go find an empty seat” she said when all the kids got quiet. Alexis found a seat in the back, behind Brook.
I wonder if she even knows I’m a witch. Alexis thought to herself. The bus
stopped and the doors opened. Five or six kids
got on. One of them was a boy with blonde hair and dark blue eyes.
He was as tall as Alexis but way more tan, and he was just as skinny.
A wizard, that’s different, I wonder if he knows, Alexis thought. She ducked down so he wouldn’t see her. He sat in the seat with Brook. “ Hey Brook, did you learn how to use your telachonises?” He whispered quietly, so no one could hear.
“SHUT UP!” she yelled quietly, then pointed to my seat.
Alex turned to look at the seat behind him, there was a girl with blue eyes.
Doesn’t Brook know about the blue eye thing?!?!?!
Alex thought. He turned back to Brook. “Why? She has blue eyes, obviously she’s a witch, even if she doesn’t know” he said.
“I can hear you, you know.” The girl said.
Alex turned around, “Hi I’m Alex, you know
You’re a witch right?”
“Yes, I know, and by the way I’m Alexis.”
“Cool, nice to meet you.” Alex said.
Hey! We’re finally at school, Alexis thought, as the bus stopped. She stood up, and walked towards the exit. Once she got to the doors she looked at the school. It was a big, one building blue school. In the back there was a huge field and in the front there was a bike rack, a parking lot, and a huge garden field. The field was filled with tall, red fireweed, beautiful wild iris, Artic lupine, Iceland poppies, wild blue flax, and the prettiest were the forget-me-not’s. Then if you looked further you could see Mt. McKinley, topped with snow! It was the most beautiful picture ever!
“Not what you would think, is it?” She heard Alex say behind her.
“Not at all!” Alexis replied gaping at the school and the view behind the school.
“I know, huh. A blue school,” he replied
“That’s not even it! Its just so, so, I don’t even know just….. Wow!” Alexis replied as she took out her phone to take a picture.
“I just cant believe it! I have to show my friend so she can paint this.”
Alexis had to walk to the other end of the school where the student advisor was to see what classes she would be in. She got a lot of strange looks from the other students. Once there she looked at her schedule.
I can not believe this! I signed up for math, not Social Studies!! Alexis thought. She noticed that Brook and Alex were also there.
“Are you kidding me! I wanted science, not social studies!” Brook said as they checked their schedules.
“Yea I wanted math not social studies! Oh my gosh!!”
“Hey I got the classes I wanted-- well the ones I was allowed to pick.” Alex said.
“Don’t you say a word - wait a second what classes did you want?” Alexis asked suspiciously.
“Umm, social studies, reading, and math. Why?””
“Those are the same classes I have, granted I wanted reading, but still. Brook what classes did you get?”
“Social studies, math, reading. Wh- ALEX!!”
“I knew it! I knew you changed it! How many witches and wizards did or do you have in your family?” Alexis asked. (You see, the more witches or wizards you have in your family, the stronger the potions and spells are and the more knowledge you have about using your witchcraft is.)
“Three, my sister, my mom and my brother.”
he said smiling.
BRRRIIINNNNG!!! The bell, finally.
“See ya’ll in reading”Alex said mischievously. Brook rolled her eyes. Alexis looked at her paper.
Science, at least that’s one class I like. She thought to herself. Once she was in class she sat at the only empty desk.
“Who are you?” The boy beside her asked. He had blonde hair with brown streaks and green
eyes. He was a little taller than Alexis and a lot more tan.
“Alexis, who are you?”
“Elijah, most people call me Eli though.Can I call you Lexi?”
“Well nice to meet you Elijah, and sure as long as you don’t call me Lexis.”
“Cool so-” He didn’t finish the sentence because the teacher walked in. She was a tall lady, with short black hair and blue eyes.
“Quite please, I am Mrs.Koi, for those of you who don’t know. We have a new student, Ms. Alexis wolf. Please stand and come up to the
front Alexis. Alexis was surprised, but she went to the front anyway.
“I am Alexis Wolf, My sister is Hannah Wolf, CEO and creater of Wolf Electronics. My mom, is Maria wolf, creator of Wolf cars and dealer ships, and my dad is Justin Wolf, creator of Wolf furniture.” Alexis said. She Had always been rich, no she hadn’t liked it but it had its advantages. “Any questions?”
All the kids were quite, staring at her. A girl besides Elijah raised her hand. She had hair
like Elijah‘s and blue eyes. She was a little taller than Alexis and way more tan, she was a beautiful girl. “Umm I do,”
“You are lying right? I mean if you were rich, why would you choose to come to this school?”
“Who is asking this question?”
“Annabel, Annabel McGinnis, now can you answer my question please.”
“Yes, I will. I chose to come to a normal school like this because I want a normal life, if you knew half the stuff that’s happening in my life you wouldn’t like it.”
“But why Tanana? Couldn’t you go to a private school?”
“Yes, I could but I use the money I have for things I need and Red-Cross.”
“Oh okay then that’s all I have to ask.”
“I have a question.” Asked a girl in the front row. She was just as pale as Alexis but an inch taller, and very pretty. She had blonde hair just like Alexis’. She had the same blue eyes as Alexis” Mom’.
“Who is asking?”
“Luna, Luna Wolf. I am your stepsister. My dad is yours.” She said. Now It was Alexis’ turn to stare, shocked.
“Huh, no way. If your trying to get money then just ask, you don’t have to pretend you my sister. Now what is your question?”
“That was it. My question was if you knew you had step-sister. Which obviously you don’t.” She said and sat back down. BBRRING!
The bell, already??? Alex!! Alexis said to herself. Once the teacher dismissed them she got her stuff and left. She looked down, “Recess,” Alexis said quietly.
Alex knew it would work, he had been practicing to make time move faster for weeks. “You are excused, no homework today” his teacher said. He got up and ran out side to the field, were he found Alexis and Brook “--It went by so fast, maybe it was just because it was the first day.” Was the half of what Alexis was saying, that he heard.
I couldnt get it as a like so i cut and pasted, sorry if it takes long for you to read it. the nubers are the page numbers.
I am biased by the fact that I had written my first novel by nine. It was a book about a girl leaving home at a young age and finding her own way. I was told by my English teacher at the time to try and publish the book; however I lacked confidence in my work and never perused that avenue. Based on my own experience, I don't tend to question this writer's age or skill level.I would like to see more adults supporting children's interests and skills at a young age. All too often youth are seen as incapable, when the reality is far from it.
Jade, Reveal thyself!
I want you all to know that, yes I am ten, and yes i had my grandmother help my with a few things like my punctuaion marks, but no I didnt have help with my words. I was reading at a 5th grade reading level when i was in 1st grade. Now i am in a high-school reading level in sixth grade.
You sound like me at that age. :-)
Well Jade - Looks like the consensus is KEEP UP THE WRITING PRACTICE and you will definitely have something to say to the world as you get better and better!!!
Thank you for trusting us to be kind but honest.
I've seen published work that isn't as good as this. There are a few technical details that could be fixed but practise and perseverance will just make it better. well done.
There appears to be a correlation between avid reading at a young age and well written authors. I hope to see more work from you Jade.