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Permalink Reply by Jan Lazo-Davis on May 2, 2012 at 5:01pm

One of the energy doctors I have seen told me that his female patients get better results for healing than his male patients because they trust their intuition more and it leads them to better healing practices. 

If we could get kids to trust their intuition/right-wrong/good-bad etc. we might teach them to see/feel/experience the spiritual world surrounding them. 

A friend told me that before a child turns five they can remember the birth experience as a feeling. They can actually describe some of the feelings. This is not a thought out experience, but rather a shared experience. I believe it might have roots partially in the spiritual realm. Just a thought.

Permalink Reply by Jill Celeste on May 8, 2012 at 9:49pm

Jan, It is interesting when you bring up the ability to remember a feeling...what I have seen in my own child and grand child who are high functioning autistics.... is that they feel VERY deeply and they feel EVERYTHING. They almost feel attacked by both their inner and outer worlds...and they lack the language ability to express these feelings. So they become extremely overwhelmed by them and have what we call a "melt down" total decompensation. When my son was young, I had him draw pictures of how he felt on index cards and then we would add words to the feelings, so he would have a reference for his next experience and possibly be able to verbalize it. When he was falling apart we would go through the cards and see if he could find what he was feeling.

There is an ever increasing number of these children...they are saying 1 in every 70 children now are on the autism spectrum. We may have better diagnostic tools, but I also think we truly have more kids being born that have super normal abilities to feel, see, smell, take in information.. it is part of human evolution. I'm not sure that we have caught up to them with the kinds of resources they need.

Does anyone in our group have books to suggest for these kids?

Permalink Reply by Jan Lazo-Davis on May 9, 2012 at 8:31am

I'm not aware of any books that speak to this. I do know that a friend of mine had a child who would become overwhelmed very easily. She used focus tools with him to minimize the information overload. So a book of ABC's would work if you could focus the child on a single page.

My husband recently flew home and during the pre-flight waiting in the airport a family came up composed of Father, Mother and 6-8 year old boy acting out. The parents finally said he can't help himself - he is autistic. After a few minutes my husband went over and sat next to them. He said "My name is Dan. What's yours?" It stopped the crying cold and he looked at Dan and said his name. Keeping things at surface level Dan talked to him for a few minutes. Then the bad thing happened. They had a gate change.

The parents were afraid it would send him off again. When they got to the new gate Dan said to the boy, "I'll bet that when you get onto the airplane you can ask the stewardess what is the best seat." Then my husband got in line. Sure enough, the crying did not resume and maybe 10 minutes after my husband was settled in his exit row he heard a loud child voice ask "What's the best seat? I want to sit there!"

The flight was fine and he was settled, focused again.

Maybe we are learning new coping techniques as a society. I asked my husband how he became so inspired and he said "I don't know. It just seemed the right thing to do."

For myself, I find I have to block certain emotions, or I will take them and they are not mind. Maybe we all have some of that ability and never get the training to learn how to use it.

Permalink Reply by jeff herman on May 9, 2012 at 11:16am

Jan, Your vignette reminds me of many experiences, including my own. Can it be generational? I don't remember myself or my peers acting out in public. If a kid did we were all embarrassed for him and would laugh at him. I doubt we were better than kids are now, but I think we had a different sense of propriety about public places. That boundary has become more rare and I attribute it to the culture. It probably manifests in countless ways. I'm not sure how much influence parents might have over spiritual development if they are passive in other primary ways. 

Permalink Reply by Jill Celeste on May 9, 2012 at 11:36am

Jeff, Years ago I heard a description of a parent's role in setting boundaries that really stuck with me. As a small child, you keep those boundaries tight and close and consistantly enforced. As they grow older you gradually expand the boundaries as the child proves he is able to handle them. This process continues...until you let them fly totally on their own as adults....I think that part of the problem today is that parents may loosen those boundaries too soon, giving the child so much room to expand they become out of control and going backward once you've done that is not so easy.

A combination of appropriate boundaries and a language to express their feelings rather than acting them out physically seems like a good plan. AND when they act out in the grocery store...leave your cart and remove them physically from the situation (if they are small enough to do it LOL)

Permalink Reply by jeff herman on May 9, 2012 at 11:56am

Jill, I agree with you. Especially that once the horse is out of the barn it's hard to put it back. Too many parents probably wait for the problem to drive them crazy before looking for remedies. 

Permalink Reply by Jan Lazo-Davis on May 9, 2012 at 1:18pm

It might be generational. Certainly there are fewer restrictions - boundaries put onto children today. None of the "be silent until spoken to" or "children eat after the adults" are followed with the children I meet today.

But I think it also is both the pollution in our foods and the need to grasp a lot at once. That would be the technology. TV, games, movies, etc. require a fast tracking today and a shallow attention for a lot of simlutaneous events surrounding us. Tack on the fewer boundaries imposed by parents and Over-Stimulation results.

But I think it is also genetic and more prevalent in very intelligent children because some children do just fine and others don't. I believe those who are autistic tend to have a higher intelligence. Just my opinion.

How is that for spreading the causes around??? 

Permalink Reply by Jill Celeste on May 9, 2012 at 11:40am

Jan, YES!  re-directing focus is the best tool with these kids. Perhaps bringing a comforting book to the airport. I have taken out a well worn golden book that my granddaughter loves and just started reading it out loud and often she can be pulled out of her melt down into a good story. Books Are Great in so many ways aren't they?

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